He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
