I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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