Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
