So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize