It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
