Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
