a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Found your dick twin last night
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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