I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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