Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
