once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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