Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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