I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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