and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
