my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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