I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
