White coat. Heels.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
