Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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