It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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