this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
