I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
