girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
