hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There's always time for handjobs
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize