The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
