The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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