Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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