He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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