also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
