I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
