I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He shit in the fireplace
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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