Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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