Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
