Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
