the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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