Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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