While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
