Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm always down for nudity.
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