I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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