quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
