btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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