Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The air taste purple.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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