...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
