I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize