I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have fence marks all over my body
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
