doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
