I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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