i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
