ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
cat food counts as protein by the way
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
