the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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