a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
