The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
