If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
