Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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