Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
