"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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