Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
