lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize