Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize