Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
